New Language:Speakatalkish

Today I have decided to actually teach you something.And don't worry,it's not boring.I mean,look at all my other posts.Do you think I would actually teach you somethingmeaningful,er,uh,I mean.....um...uh....boring?Yeah,boring,let's go with that.Do you think that I would teach you something boring?Yeah,I didn't think so.If you did think so,you obviously haven't read all of my other posts.Anyway,it's not boring.Or useful.Buut,read it anyway.Who knows,It could be entertaining.Oh,wait,I should know.And I do know.But...uh...maybe it's a secret.Yeah,a secret!That's it!I won't tell you because it's a secret.You'll just have to find out yourself.Of course,then it wouldn't be much of a secret.Well I'll have to think about that.Back to the stuff.Ok'what are you waiting for?Go ahead down and read it!Sheesh,what I have to do to entertain you people!It's hard work,you know I mean-Oh?What?Ok,fine I'll get to the learning stuff in a second.I'm just saying I-Oh, fine I'll get on with it.Jeez!

Well,I'm going to teach you a new language.And it's not Spanish or French or English or anything like that!No,it's Speakatalkish! "Speakawhatahooey?",You ask.No, not Speakawhatahooey, Speakatalkish!
It's a language.A new language.Made by a guy named me!Ok here are a few sentences translated into English by me.

Did lemon shave cheese trumpet with Marx brothers?-Could you feed the dog?

Superbowl eats bananas on New Years Eve.-I need to take a bus to Hawaii.

I smashed your doll with Bob Hope's socks!-Feed me a chocolate bar!

Cheese won't get you anywhere!-I forgot to do my homework!

That's all for now,whatever your name is!

Uses For Toast

Use 1:Eating,Duh!

2:Let's say you can't find your socks and you're in a hurry.So,what do you do?You toast some bread and put it on your feet,of course!

3:This is kind of like the last one but,You can't find a hat.It's pouring outside.You don't know what to do except...you toast up some toast,and plop!You have an instant toast cap!

4:You're still in a hurry,but your car breaks down!All you have is a Car Repair kit,a cell phone,and some toast and butter.What do you choose?The toast,of course!You splat come butter on the toast and slip it on your feet and slide your way to wherever you are going!

5:Ok.You're finally at your destination.You're about to walk inside but then,BAM!It hits you!No, not the door,dummy!You just remembered!Remembered what,you ask?Remembered that it's(insert name here)'s
birthday!!!And you give them...wait,I'll let you guess................................
If you guessed toast you're right!Yes you give them a piece of steaming hot,scrumptious,delicious,toasty,buttery,warm,TOAST!What could be a better present?Well,OK,quite a few things,but it makes a good snack!

6:So whoever just ate their toast and you have to use the bathroom.So you find the bathroomand BAM!This time it is the door.Now youve got a big bump on your head.Now what?You eat some toast!It might not make you feel better,but it will get your mind off of the pain.A little.

7:Now it's time for work or school or something.So you head off to work on your new toasty shoes.You get there and you find out that your watch is waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay behind.So now you're waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay late.Your boss or teacher comes up to you bright red and steaming mad.You could almost see the smoke pouring out of his/her ears!Thinking quickly,you pull a peice of delicious toast out of your pocket and stuff it into his/her mouth.He/she will be so busy eating the tasty toast,they will forget all about you and your lateness!Nice save!

8:You're still at work or school.It's been hours.You are amazingly bored.You just want to go home and have some fun.So you give your boss or teacher more toast.While they're munching away you sneak past them.They won't even notice!The next day you can give them toast and they'll forget to yell at you!

9:You get home and you want to watch TV,but you can't find the remote.Tou go and find the toaster and,well,it's quite obvious,toast up some toast!But not one peice,but atleast ten!You go back and sit on your couch and if you want to turn the TV on or off or change channels just toss some toast at your television!The toast will hit the buttons for you,and the best part is,when you're done with toast,you can eat it!

10:This is probably the most complicated one.Now you are out of toast!Boo hoo!So you go to the store,but it's way to expensive.Then you write down all the uses of toast(listed here) on a peice of toast with a piece of toast.You then give the piece of toast to the cashier.They'll like it so much that they will give you more toast!

Now go out into the world and use my uses of toast!Of course,that might not be all that smart.Don't say I didn't warn you!!!

My opinion

Ok,well I bet you have heard someone,atleast once in your life,say something about the sweet smell of success.But,I bet they don't even know what success smells like.So,in a lot of studying smells over all my years,(actually,pretty much only tonight for about a minute)I have discovered what succes smells like.Now, are you ready for this?I hope you are because if you aren't, you may learn waaaaaaay more than you want to learn today.Becauase,today,October ,3,2006,I have discovered what succes smells like by my self!I have discovered,tonight,what success smells like.Ok,well here it goes,success smells like.....................................................................................................


.... plastic!!!!

That's just in my opinion.

Random story!!!! #1

As the elephant walked through Steeliron City he hit his head on a tree.
Out of the tree fell a small elf.The elf climbed onto the elephant's back without a word.The two walked to the end of the city and they found a big blue spaceship.They went into the spaceship and they both said "Let's go to zzifzziw-4!" So the elf pressed the big green button,the spaceship turned into a big robot and blasted off to zzifzziw-4! The two lived happily ever after with the dog and cat beings of zzifzziw-4.

THE END

Super Joke!

Q: What's Canteloupe?
A: When the ladder can't reach the window!


ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo!!!!

Food Wars

What is Food Wars,you ask?Well, my friend and I made up some food superheroes.We didn't even mean to do it together too.Here's the story:

My friend one day(before he was my friend) mentioned something about someone named Donut-Man.So I asked him what he was talking about.He told me that that Donut-Man is a superhero that he made up.Then i remembered that I had made up a food superhero too!Captain Candy!!!We decided to make comics.But,we had to figure out a name for them.Then I thought FOOD WARS.

Here are the main charcters that I made.

Captain Candy:
Captain Candy was one of the first superheros I ever made in my life.I made him when I was really young.From his name you can tell what kind of food he is.CANDY.He has bunch of weird powers.Like Sour bomb,Fudge Swirl,licorice lasso,twizzler twister,Cinnamon vision,Super Sour Stomp,etc.He has super weird adventures with other heroes and his pets.His worst enemies are Evil Icecream and Monstrous Milk.He lives in the made up country Foodania at 3239 Pizza Park,Foodania 79881.His favorite food is marshmallows.He is very heroic and can be brave,but he can also be a big chicken.Sometimes.He loves his job as being a superhero and saving the day,world,and sometimes universe.He can be pretty crazy sometimes,too.He looks pretty much like a lollypop with a big red swirl,two blue legs,two red licorice arms,a cape,a belt,and eyes and a mouth.

Bunny:
Bunny is Captain Candy's pet Hot dog.He got super powers not to long ago.His favorite food is meat sauce.He can be be very nice,but most of the time he is mischievous.Bunny is also very clever.He has a lot of fun with C.C.'s other pet.His superhero name is Super Sausage.

Cheese-It:
Cheese-It is C.C.'s pet cheese goldfish.He got his super powers the same time Bunny got his.His favoite food is little bits of crackers.He is nice most of the time and very brave(sometimes braver than his owner).He is almost always in a good mood and can cheer up his friends with one of his wacky jokes.He likes to help C.C. when he is saving people.He can also breath out of water(which is one of his powers).His superhero name is Wonder Cheese.

So those are some Food Wars characters!I might be adding more soon.

Daily(weekly,monthly,yearly,decadely,centuryly,or milleniumly, which ever comes first)Thoughts II

3/19/06

"How do people who have amnesia remember how to speak the language they speak?Or do they...hmm..."

_ME!!!HA HA HA HA!!!

The Coolest Story Ever!

Once upon a time, I was sitting in the old red chair in the livingroom.I was spinning around as fast as I could and I was getting dizzy.When I knew that it was time to stop, I stood up and started walking around so I would run into things."Boy,that was fun,whoa....wheeee!"I said to no one in particular.I could see the room spinning,turnig flipping..."uughh,I don't think I could do that again."I said."Oh,what the heck,I'll do it anyway!"After about the tenth time,I heard a loud,creepy rumble.I could start to here the rain.It was pouring out after just a few seconds.The rain sounded like nails hitting metal."I think I've had enough spinning for a while."I said."Good" said Hobbes,my tiger."I was getting dizzy watching you."There was another loud rumble.This one sounded different.Then there it was again,getting louder."It's just the thunder."said Ace,my Imaginary friend.It grew even louder."I hope",he said quietly.Then,we saw it.It was a huge spaceship with glowing blue lights.It looked somewhat familiar though...Hobbes and I ran and hid.Ace stood there,staring up at it,amazed."Hey, alien guy"he shouted."Leave us alone!What did we ever do to you?"Seeing that nothing was happening,Ace said "You better leave,or your going to have to face an imaginary friend named Ace!Come on guys,I could use some help here!" "No thanks",said Hobbes."You can do it yourself" "Yeah,don't be lazy"I said.Suddenly,the spaceship door opened and a strange figure appeared."AAAAAAHHHHH",shouted Ace,and he ran and hid with us.Then,the figure stepped out....It was Luke Skywalker!Then Chewbacca,Han and Leia came out,too.Then I was really surprised because some neopets came out!Then I was really,really surprised because Calvin and Hobbes came out!The spaceship had really been the Millenium Falcon!We talked and did all kinds of cool stuff all night and they went back home in the morning.


The End

Daily(weekly,monthly,yearly,decadely,centuryly,or milleniumly,which ever comes first)Thoughts!

3/15/06


"If light moves at 186,000 miles per second, how come it doesn't hurt when we get hit by it?"
-Me!!!

Calvin and Hobbes

Calvin and Hobbes!The greatest strip of all time!in case you don't know who they are,Calvin is a six year old boy who is in first grade and has a teacher named Mrs. Wormwood.He lives next to a girl named susie and they have a love/hate relationship.Calvin has made up a club called G.R.O.S.S.(Get Rid Of Slimy girlS)and tries to get rid of susie.Calvin is also very imaginative and mischeivous.He often gets in trouble but is actually kind at heart.His parents have no names and he has a mean babysitter that they often hire named Rosalyn.She is the only person that Calvin reallyfears.

Hobbes is Calvin's stuffed tiger though he sees Hobbes as a real tiger.Hobbes is Calvins only real friend.Hobbes was found by Calvin in the first strip.Hobbes is very nice and pounces on Calvin often.Hobbes is not as wild as calvin,even though he is an animal.Hobbes is like most house cats though.He likes tuna and salmon and sleeps most of the day.Oh,wait did i say he likes tuna and salmon?he loves tuna and salmon!If calvin ever opens a can of tuna hobbes will come charging toward him and pounce.But most of the time hobbes just sleeps all day.


Calvin and hobbes is one of the best comic strip ever to be comic stripalized!